You know how it is, you go into a lift, shop or restaurant and playing in the background is that bloody awful music. As soon as you notice it, it annoys the crap out of you, interrupts your thought process and no matter how hard you try to push it to the back of your mind you can’t.
After a while it begins to become background noise. Because it’s been there for a while it’s started to become a constant and you brain knows it’s there but starts to tune it out. It’s less annoying and you can live with it. You notice if there is a change of song, but basically it’s not pissing you off as much it did at the start.
Then you basically ignore it. Not deliberately, but it’s been there for so long droning on in the background that you don’t even notice the change in song track. You are too busy going about your business to bother with it.
So after almost 20 years of managing my Type 1 Diabetes it’s kind of become like lift music recently. Too busy with daily life and tuning out the drone of the daily BG checks. Noticing the big changes and reacting to them, but once in range it’s just a drone again that gets ignored. Not in a “rebellious” way, just a “I’m a lazy old git” kind of way where I intend to focus on it tomorrow………..
Personally I don’t see this as a failing or burn out in any way. Just human nature and a hazard of living with Type1 Diabetes for so long. I’m not going to let myself, or anyone else give me a hard time about it. However, I will give myself the kick up the arse I need to start paying attention to what’s important again in my Diabetes Management.
The annual review appointment letter hitting the door mat is a good reminder that I need to sort this out, and the focus starts now, not tomorrow!
Live Long and Bolus.