Don’t Tell Me It’s Easy!

25 Aug

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On the eve on any milestone event or anniversary it’s easy to sit and reflect.

I try not to do that.

No point looking back.

You can’t change the past.

But for me today that’s not been easy.

A quick flick through the last 24 years and 364 days brings me to one date.

A recent date in comparison.

 

Every talk I’ve been lucky enough to do over the last few years had a slide with that included this bullet point:

  • Family History of T1D (but I didn’t know it was compulsory)

After February 2019 I made a slight amendment….

  • Family History of T1D (but I didn’t know it was compulsory), and it’s still running….

 

Since then I have not blogged, tweeted or talked about my son’s diabetes.

That will not change.

It’s his story.

It’s not mine to tell.

If he wants to tell it then he can.

 

People have been kind.

I really appreciate that.

People have been supportive.

I really appreciate that.

People have asked what his A1c is.

Please don’t ask me that.

Please don’t ask him that either.

A few have told me that it must be easier because I have T1D……

I don’t appreciate that!

Easier?

It’s it Fuck!

If I’d been hit by a car in my past and then this year he had, would it be easier for me?

No.

I’d just know how much it hurt!!

So, if anyone out does think it’s easier.

It’s not.

It’s really not.

That blood glucose reading just before you get him in the car to start his life with T1D brought almost 25 years of living this crashing through your brain like an express train.

At the same time, you maintain that calm poker face so that he knows that he’s going to be ok.

Because you are the only one that never loses it.

If you lose it then he’s going to think that he can’t do this.

If you are just you, then he knows that he will be ok.

And he is ok.

Not because he as 16 and its easier.

Not because I have T1D and its easier.

Because I am exactly the same parent that I was before his diagnosis.

Because that is who he needs and trusts.

I’ll agree that it is different for me.

But its sure as hell not easier!

Live Long & Bolus.

Grumps.

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One Response to “Don’t Tell Me It’s Easy!”

  1. Rick Phillips August 26, 2019 at 12:04 am #

    I was 16 when DX’d, I got out of the hospital on my 17th birthday. I was DX’d while at Disney World. Proving Disney Wold is not always the happiest place on earth.

    My mom was a T1D and what I recall most about my mom is that she I heard her crying in the hall, but she never showed it, not even once. She gave me diabetes and let me ask when i needed help and to go my own way when I did not ask. You will be a great dad to a son with diabetes, but you are a great dad anyway, and that is the main part of being a great dad for a son with diabetes.

    PS: He learned so much watching you over the years, I bet it will now be time to learn a few things from him.

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